And yet, I still choose to give in my time (and actually a lot of my life) into this silly fantasy. Is it stupid to put so much effort into something that has 1/10,000th of a chance? Is it worth the risk and sacrifice?
A girl can dream, right? I can fantasize. But at what extent does all of this become ridiculous? I’m told, that for the time being, I should just enjoy it. And as much as I’d love to, the reality of how things naturally work in this miserable world just hits me too hard.
Going along with all of this feels like playing the Waiting Game. Yeah, I guess you could call everything “fun” for now, but eventually, I know what’s going to happen. Over time, everything will “melt away like chocolate in the hot sun.”
That’s where I’m at right now.
I honestly don’t see why everyone is going OA over graduating high school. Yeah, it’s a big deal, but I dunno, shouldn’t graduating high school be automatic? It’s good to be excited and surprised that it’s coming so soon, and yeah, I get that. But then when people start to post things like, “Mom and Dad, I’m graduating for you.” or, “I’ve lived my entire life for this moment” I just kind of go like, woah.
Like if you’re graduating college or something then go ahead, by all means, celebrate! Because not everyone can do that. But high school? Come on, what can you do with just a high school education these days? It’s like, yeahhh, congrats, but there’s still more to come. Don’t get too excited just yet.
I mean, I’m excited too, but I don’t go out and make a big deal out of it. Sometimes I can’t believe it either, but I’m not being all like “My lifelong dreams are finally becoming a reality.”
Like yeah, congrats, graduation.. But it’s not THAT big of a deal, is it? Or, I dunno, is it just me?
I will eventually. Slowly but surely, I’ll get there.
Either way, there will be painful emotions and mixed feelings. I honestly don’t know what to do. As much as I’d like to believe that everything will be like a fairytale story, things in this shitty world just don’t work that way.